The first one always hurts the most.

The last REAL race I did was the 4th of July Crit in Davis - since then all I've done is a Geiger Hill Climb and the Cascade prologue. Sure, those things hurt, but not the same. In fact, since the Davis crit sucked so damn much for me, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the last time I really RACED my bike was Nevada City. Pathetic, huh? That was in June and here we are in September. I get the feeling some people think I'm a flake for bailing on the end of road season, and they may be right. However, in light of the impending Big Move, I think my reasons (read: justifications) are sound: 1: Road racing season doesn't really get going until April in New England, therefore if I took a break in the fall I wouldn't be racing my bike for 7-8 months. Ridiculous. B: The next couple months are going to be pretty tough, I think, and there are a lot of new things to adjust to and a lot of missing people. What better way to keep my mind off the things that I'm leaving behind than to do something that I love? And lastly, New England cyclocross is off the hook and I weaseled my way onto a good team, so how could I really say no?

But that wasn't the point of my post, and now I just sound whiney and defensive.

I raced 'cross on Saturday! And it went . . . okay. Maybe it's just not having a coach anymore, but I feel rather compelled to give a detailed race report to SOMEONE, so why not the internets at large?

My starts suck. I'm going to be working on that. Today. I was, if not quite last, almost last after the start. It was women's A's and 35+ A's, and a pretty good turn-out. Oh, did I mention the presence of multiple current national champions? Like, Barb Howe and Gina Hall? Plus some other nationals podium finishers, like Sarah Maile. Owwee. Anyway, the course was a slight uphill pavement start that funneled into a singletrack that got a little technical pretty quick, with a tight left hand turn into a dusty, loose drop in. I was so far away from the hole shot that I was stuck behind the only 2 girls who put there feet down making that tight left. Damn. Made some quick passes when it opened up, but by then the race was so far away from me that I'd never make it up. Sure, I never expected to hold Barb's wheel or anything, but there were a few girls in there who I think I could be competitive with. I think I have the fitness to duke it out with people, but not to close huge gaps and THEN duke it out, know what I mean? I mean, I'm no Katie Compton, and I can't start last row and win nationals. Nope. No way. So starts are going to be critical to me if I want to have a good season. Anyway, it was blazing hot down in Folsom and I suffered heartily in the last two laps and just kind of limped through the last one, content in the knowledge that I would not be getting lapped.

The bad:

1. Starts - must improve dramatically or be stuck in suck.

2. Barriers - OK for the first couple laps, but when I got really cooked I started running like a . . . I dunno, something that sucks at running.

3. Heat tolerance - whatever, I'm moving to New England. ;) Next time I have to race in 90 degree heat I'm putting a waterbottle cage on my bike. F' it.

The good:

1. Technical skills - I was rocking the loose drop-in and the following section of single track that had a loose, sketchy ditch to ride through. Super happy that I've been getting out on my mountain bike lately and feeling good about shredding some mini-gnar.

2. Fitness - good power until the heat sapped my strength through my brain, which it then sucked through my eye balls.

3. I had a ton of fun! Even when I was suffering I was like, "Yeah, cross! This is f'in awesome!!!" And that, really, is the most important part.

On tap for today is a brutal training ride, and more packing. Yeah, the house is starting to look like we're leaving. Sad . . . excited . . . overwhelmed. But that's what brutal training rides are for, they take the edge off all those emotions and replace it with pain and fatigue. I like that.