Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dissatisfied

Watching the results up at Mt. Hood, Philly, at Nature Valley this week, and I want to be racing there so bad. I have a dozen reasons why, after 4 years of racing (with varying degrees of commitment and success), I'm still a mediocre cat 3. There's nothing wrong with being a cat 3, I'm just not satisfied with it. I want more.

So I'm thinking of cutting back the school load. That's really a euphemism for "dropping out of school," except you can't accuse me of dropping out because I'm going to be taking 1 class! Just for that very reason. I want to race my bike, with a greater degree of commitment and success. This time next year I want to be in Minnesota for Nature Valley.

I'm taking the month of July off from racing. Get 4 weeks of super focused training, a good mental break, then going at it full-bore in August, September, then take another break. Get some results, get my upgrade, get a little momentum going into next year! Up my training load, and be ready to race with the big girls, finally.

I have the blessing of Cody to do whatever makes me happy. He'll be graduating next spring, and the . . . who knows! I'll tag along where work takes him (we have a tacit agreement to not live in the midwest, south of Virginia on the east coast, Reno, and most places in california - the latter is his request, personally I love Cali and would pack my bags for Santa Cruz tomorrow if he'd consent).

So I'm committing to, erm, dropping out of school? Yeah, it sounds bad, but you only live once, I'm not getting any younger, carpe diem, blah blah blah. And if I fail spectacularly, at least I tried.

2 comments:

bethwellie said...

I totally know how you feel. Something keeps making me think that I should be at the next level but I'm just not there. I admire your decision to take a break from school to follow your dreams. I hope it goes well!!

Marian said...

Well, I can always go back to school later! But I think the window of opportunity to race at a top level will be gone if I don't go for it soon. Thanks for the kind words, Beth, it's nice to not hear people say, "stay in school!" :)