Try try again.

Don't worry, I'm through with the whiny negativity routine. Moving on to optimism, or something that at least resembles it.



Patterson Pass was, um, well, kinda lousy. Led out the climb (bad idea, same thing I did at the hill climb at Kern, tho you can reference my race report for evidence that I didn't really admit it to myself at the time the actual reason why I sucked so hard) cracked just before the top, just about caught back up, then I flatted. Damn. So, to do well in a road race one needs to do the following: 1. Train lots, but not too much, 2. Don't flat, or have any other mechanical mishap, 3. Not go into it with your head up your ass (as in leading up the climb, into a head wind). Next race I'm going to triple check that my head is where it belongs, and the "on" switch is engaged.



And hope for no flats.



(Pre-Dunnigan mental checklist will go something like this - "Head out of ass? Check. Brain fully engaged? Uhhh . . . oh! I mean, "check". )



So, having a day of lousy luck (if you count stupid racing as bad luck, and I do) can really call into question motivation (which, as previously addressed, has recently been occasionally absent) and purpose, and self-confidence. Well, the self-confidence department is still kind of lacking. The only thing that's going to fix that is a good result, or an extra glass of wine (unfortunately not an option pre-race). What do I do when I struggle with these things? Well, it seems when I feel like no matter what I do I'll never be a good road racer I think about how freaking awesome cyclocross is. And . . . I start plotting. For instance, I'm seriously seriously thinking about flying to Kentucky for the USGP Derby Cup races. Yes. Kentucky. Additionally I'm already planning on flying to Portland for the USGP, and driving to Bend for Nationals. And I'll most likely be working at Interbike so I'll hopefully (if my boss let's me get away from the almost-naked-ladies-dancing-on-poles that is the Sinclair Party) be racing Cross Vegas again. WTF? It's like I'm a pro cyclocross racer or something. Hm. I know, it's a lot way to travel to come in 3rd from last, but god damnit, it sounds like fun.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to get my road upgrade. Umm . . . right . . .

Anticipation . . . and stuff.

Racing this weekend! It's been awhile - 6 weeks? Golly. After 3 1/2 months of racing every god damn weekend 6 weeks feels like a long time.

This week's been tough on motivation. I had an amazing hard ride on Saturday, sort of lazy Sunday, took Monday off, then on Tuesday woke up to find that my motivation had sort of evaporated. What gives? Perfect lousy timing. I've faked my way through the last two days of training, sort of resenting the whole thing for some reason. Today it's kinda cold (75 degrees is practically arctic for Reno in August) and it's supposed to rain later and I'm thinking I'll just ride my rollers and watch stupid movies. Trying to figure this out, get a handle on my negativity before it really fucks me over. Oh dear, did I just swear on my cycling blog? Ah well, it's the new Negative Nancy Me, get used to it. (My boyfriend's brother's wife [who I confess that I think of as my sister-in-law, despite the lack of marital ties between myself and that family] is named Nancy, and it annoys the crap out of her when someone calls someone else a Nancy.)

Okay, so I've figured out my problem. I have a number of races in the next couple weeks, and I'd really like to get some good results. Like, win. Because I want my upgrade soooo bad. And if I get my upgrade this month I can throw myself headlong into a wild and crazy season of cyclocross. If I don't get it I'll feel like I have to prepare for a solid early start to the road season so I can get some results before the points I have dry up. And my head's not in the road game, my brain's already gone over to cyclocross mode. So . . . what? I'm putting all this pressure on myself to do well at something that I have very little enthusiasm for right now. Top that off with being out of the game for the last month and a half and my confidence is way low and I'm mostly feeling lots of nervousness and dread. I write that and sounds stupid - my training has been very good for the last month, I'm fresh from not racing . . . yada yada yada.

Long story short . . . ? I need to get my fucking head on straight, plaster a truly sincere smile on my face, and go kick some ass with enthusiasm. Um, hooray?

I suck at this blogging thing.

Well, to be fair, it's a blog about bike racing, and I haven't been doing any of that lately. Training, yes, dreaming, yes, obsessively following . . . yes. But no actual racing for me. Am I totally itching for some bike racing? Naturally. Especially . . . cyclocross.

What is it about skinsuits, lousy weather, running over stupid barriers, cowbells . . . . sorry, I spaced out there, day dreaming. Shivers. Yum.

So I have this awesome deal with myself: If I kick ass on my road bike in August and get the last of my upgrade points I'll get to race a full season of cyclocross. Good incentive, no? Don't get me wrong, I luuurve me some road racing, but I'm ready for some variety. I'm hoping to make it to Portland for the USGP, then zip over to Bend for nationals! I know, it's still like, 4 months away, but a girl can dream, right?

Okay, I've gotta stop thinking about it. Gotta keep my head in the road racing game.

Must be fate.

I resisted buying a new cyclocross bike. The order closed, and I was in the clear. Then, they reopened the order. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to race a little bit of cyclocrosss this year. Not a ton, just enough to justify buying a new bike. Damn that's a sexy bike.

No f'in way.

Dude, I fully saw a bike yesterday that looked like this:

Okay, I realize my photo shopping leaves a little to be desired, but you get the picture, right? And it wasn't even stolen! I mean, it might have been, but the dude riding it was some old white dude in spandex accompanied by his wife. 'Course, old white guys steal lots of stuff (right Bernie Madoff?), so I think I might need to revise my profile of potential bike thieves.

Implement of Torture

My new powertap! Umm . . . can you say 'demoralizing?' I can. But I'm sure it'll help me train . . . or something like that. Jeez.

In actuality I'm incredibly stoked on it, just a little embarassed to admit HOW stoked. Intervals tomorrow are going to hurt something good.

Time to update the ol' blog, I guess.

Truth is there's not much going on. Actually, scratch that, there's plenty of great stuff going on, I just never take any pictures, and words tend to fail me.

Let's see . . . where to begin?

I'm back training now. Trying to get some super-duper fitness before August, when I have a bunch of Cal Cup races planned. Trying to slim down, which is a lot easier to do when I'm not worried about being properly fueled for an upcoming race. Enjoying the summer and the lack of obligations. Oh sure, there's work, but beyond that it's just me and my bike (and Cody, and the dog, I suppose). But it's awfully nice, I'll tell ya what.

4th of July weekend was pretty rad. I had a good ride up at Donner with my daddio on Friday, an epic 4 hrs on the Tahoe Rim Trail and Flume Trail on Saturday followed by our very own backyard bbq. We played Stump and drank mojitos (well, I didn't drink mojitos, but everyone else did). Stump is one of those things (it's a game involving a very large hammer, a tree stump, and some big nails) that I really have to provide photos of to do it justice. Sadly, the camara remained untouched for the entirety of the evening. We climbed on our roof and watched the fireworks over in Sparks. It was cool, I guess.

On Sunday I took Cody to my hometown of Quincy. Why? Good question. I guess because he'd never been, and there were some friends of mine in town. We went out to breakfast, then I took Cody on a tour of my former hood by bicycle. It went something like this, "Here's the high school where I spent 4 years of my life dreading each day. This is the cemetary where we'd run spring drills when I was on the cross country running team when I was 14. Here's the woods where we'd go party when I was 16 and 17. I'd come smoke cigarettes here. Oh yes, and here. And here." Haha, it sounds dark and unhealthy, I know, but it's not really that bad. And in the infinite wisdom I've gained in 26 years (on Friday!) I see the error of my teenage ways. Ha, right. Anyway, we rode out towards Bucks Lake after touring the town, and I promptly dropped Cody, who's never smoked (tobacco) in his life, on the climb. So there. Then we went to Spanish Falls and swam in Spanish Creek and jumped off of big rocks. It was perfect. Quincy has a couple of things to recommend it in the summer, but so help me I will never, ever, ever live there again. haha, never say never, I know, I know.

Blah, that was a stupid story. Anyway, on to more pertinent stories. First of all, I ordered a Powertap hub yesterday! Woo hoo! I'm so freakin' stoked! And even more exciting then a Powertap? On Friday me and Cody are going to Wild Island Waterslides! All freakin' day, baby. That's right, I took work off to go play in chlorinated water and run across hot cement. Dude, stoked. Hella. I WILL take pictures, 'cause it's going to be epic.